I know I’m not going to school this year, that I only work part-time in retail, that I still live with my family; but I have my associates’ degree, I make enough to keep myself well and pay my parents for health and auto insurance, and I feel like I’m a decent and well-liked person.

So it kills me a little that I don’t have some friend or friends with whom to share sexual and passionate energies.

And yet…the fact that it kills me at all is a kind of ingratitude on my part, probably a sign that I shouldn’t have what I’m asking for.

So, I’m smoking a bowl in the back of my car, I’m pouring wine into a coffee cup (clever disguise, right? ;D) and taking a walk downtown with my headphones. I’m going to take a meditative stroll and practice some simple gratitude.